Just in case you’re wondering, I’m still afraid of heights. I know it’s a weird thing to disregard but the other day I did. Completely. I was walking along a trail and planning on going to a meadow. I saw a sign that said Upper Yosemite Falls and then I thought “Why not give that another try?” I had done it once when I first got here. It was actually the first trail I did. I was completely unprepared. But it’s been months and I”m in better shape now I rationalized.
Flash forward app approximately an hour and I’m hugging the side of a mountain while some random guy asks me if everything is okay. Of course I tell him it is. I’m just trying to conquer my fear of heights. He wishes me well. What I really wanted to say was something like this:
OF COURSE I’M NOT OKAY I COULD FALL AND DIE AT ANY MOMENT!
or maybe this:
PLEASE BE QUIET THE MOUNTAIN AND I ARE CURRENTLY NEGOTIATING THE TERMS FOR MY SURVIVAL.
And yet I feel a need to keep hiking. Why? Because hiking is wonderful. I love the silence and the rhythm of your hiking boots hitting the trail. I love the fight to not quit and to push through despite the pain and fatigue. And I need to conquer my fears.
I also love this;
Why hello beautiful. (I live to the right of the bottom waterfall. Jealous yet?) This is where I went today on the John Muir Trail.
And when I get up to my destination, I enjoy sitting down for a moment. Maybe eating a snack or just taking it all in.
Until of course like this last time. I heard a rustling behind me. I was the only person I had seen on the trail. I reached down and grabbed a granite rock reading to attack the mountain lion. (Because it’s always a mountain lion and never a squirrel. Ok. Maybe it’s just me.) I screamed “I WILL KILL YOU!” Nothing. I stand and watch. Still nothing. So throw the rock in the general direction of the noise and then head down on the trail.
Of course when I round the bend (with a new rock in my hand) I see four teenage boys. As soon as they pass I drop my new rock. Oh well. You live and you learn.
What are your fears you’re currently trying to conquer?