Just in case you’re wondering, I’m still afraid of heights. I know it’s a weird thing to disregard but the other day I did. Completely. I was walking along a trail and planning on going to a meadow. I saw a sign that said Upper Yosemite Falls and then I thought “Why not give that another try?” I had done it once when I first got here. It was actually the first trail I did. I was completely unprepared. But it’s been months and I”m in better shape now I rationalized.

Flash forward app approximately an hour and I’m hugging the side of a mountain while some random guy asks me if everything is okay. Of course I tell him it is. I’m just trying to conquer my fear of heights. He wishes me well. What I really wanted to say was something like this:

OF COURSE I’M NOT OKAY I COULD FALL AND DIE AT ANY MOMENT!

or maybe this:

PLEASE BE QUIET THE MOUNTAIN AND I ARE CURRENTLY NEGOTIATING THE TERMS FOR MY SURVIVAL.

And yet I feel a need to keep hiking. Why? Because hiking is wonderful. I love the silence and the rhythm of your hiking boots hitting the trail. I love the fight to not quit and to push through despite the pain and fatigue. And I need to conquer my fears.

I also love this;

Why hello beautiful. (I live to the right of the bottom waterfall. Jealous yet?) This is where I went today on the John Muir Trail.

And when I get up to my destination, I enjoy sitting down for a moment. Maybe eating a snack or just taking it all in.

Until of course like this last time. I heard a rustling behind me. I was the only person I had seen on the trail. I reached down and grabbed a granite rock reading to attack the mountain lion. (Because it’s always a mountain lion and never a squirrel. Ok. Maybe it’s just me.) I screamed  “I WILL KILL YOU!” Nothing. I stand and watch. Still nothing. So throw the rock in the general direction of the noise and then head down on the trail.

Of course when I round the bend (with a new rock in my hand) I see four teenage boys. As soon as they pass I drop my new rock. Oh well. You live and you learn.

What are your fears you’re currently trying to conquer?

1. Where do you work/ what do you do?

I work a the Ahwahnee Hotel inside of Yosemite. I came as a front desk clerk, but now I’m working at both the front desk and the concierge office. In my opinion it’s one of the best places to work ever.

2. Where do you live?

I live about a half mile away from where I work behind the post office.

3. Where do you get your groceries from?

Um… the grocery store. We have a small store with super expensive food, but we do get a 10% discount to compensate. I know almost all of the grocery clerks. The store is open form 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. after that the nearest 24 hour super store is 2.5 hours away. Sometimes I go out of town to get some food that we don’t have here.

4. So you’re a real mountain woman?

Define mountain woman? I still shave my legs and armpits. Yes I hike and I did give up wearing fancy shoes. So I’m not sure if I’m a real mountain woman or not. I kind of imagine real mountain women wrestling grizzly bears and eating goat cooked on a fire.

What are some interesting questions you’ve been asked?

Today is Melissa’s Valentines Day. Why do you ask? Well because February 14th is probably your Valentines Day. You know the day when EVERYONE gets all lovey dovey and seems to think it’s the day to announce that their spouse is the best. (Which is statistically impossible thank you very much.)
So today is my Valentines Day. Yep I’m single and let me brag for just today.
I’m so awesome. I bought myself the best bouquet of flowers. Seriously. I did.
The last time I had a child wake me up in the middle of the night? Never.
I eat what I want when I want how I want.
Nobody (except me) complains when I don’t shave my legs.
I moved to California and asked not a single person for permission.
Nobody hogs the covers. Except sometimes me.
I think today I will buy myself a box of chocolates from work.
Because I’m special and no one could ever replace me.

Offended yet married people? Ok good. Now you know how I feel every Valentines day.

Something I get asked frequently is “What is it like living in Yosemite?” And to be honest depending on the day, my answer will vary greatly. Here’s my answer for today:

Living in Yosemite is a privilege. I try not to forget that as park visitors gawk at me with awe when I tell them yes indeed in live inside of the park. I can’t tell you how many people are jealous of that fact. I mean do YOU have a waterfall in your backyard? I didn’t think so.  Forget your greenbelt, I have access to over 800 miles of trails. And when was the last time you saw the Milky Way? Or when did you last have a bobcat run in front of you on your way to the post office? Speaking of the post office, I don’t even have to give them my name to check my mail. They know who I am. Can your mail man do that?

Here are some other unusual things about living here:

Even though the park is large, everyone knows everyone. Seriously. If I see someone I don’t know, I ask my friend Julio “Who is that?” Chances are someone will know if he doesn’t.

I live in a small cabin that’s about 12 X 12 (by my estimates) and has no indoor plumbing. I don’t have internet nor do I have a television. Don’t ask me what’s going on in the world. I have no clue and I like it that way. While you are discussing what <insert some celebrity or politician’s name here> is doing, I’m talking about the two coyotes that were spotting killing a deer in the hotel parking lot. Or maybe how bright the stars were last night.

I live two and a half hours away from a city with a movie theater and honestly I can’t remember the last time I went to a movie.And getting to eat out? Holy cow! I went to P.F. Chang’s the other day and I can still remember what that food tasted like.

Every time I go into the city I almost never finish all of my errands because I reach the point where I decide the city is far too ugly and there are too many people and I need to go home. Right. Now.

I wear hiking boots almost everywhere. Yes on my way to work you will see me with hiking boots and a suit. Stylish right?

I don’t carry a purse. I wear a backpack with a humongous water bottle and a headlamp in it. You better believe it gets dark here at night.

Sometimes I walk home from work without my headlamp. Sometimes because I forgot it and sometimes because I just want to see if I can make it home.

I mean seriously guys, I live here:

Please, please don’t ever commit this faux pas. This is the second time in my life that this has happened. Yes today I had a hotel guest congratulate me on my pregnancy. I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat. Of course I said something significantly more polite at the time. And then proceeded to go hide in the back. Not nice sir, not nice.

Of course this brings me to what I’d like to tell you about today, but before I start I just have a few disclaimers. Yes I know I’m not really fat. Yes I know I have a few pounds to relocate. Yes Mom, I know I’m beautiful just the way I am. I am just  trying to lose weight. And the following will include my revelations regarding my recent attempt to lose said weight. I have done this before.

It’s amazing how food just falls into your life.

Seriously. I’m just walking along and some ice cream is about to hit the floor and I don’t feel like mopping. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Catch the ice cream in my mouth of course. And before I know it a whole container is in my belly. But  really I’m trying to be more conscious of what is entering my body. Because food tends to be like house guests. Some of it stays longer than it’s welcome.

Some people are really, really nice.
I have gym friends now. I feel really cool saying that. I have a friend who goes with me to the gym. I’m popular. Also, there are a lot of people showing me new ways to exercise and are encouraging me. I don’t think I’d go without friends so seriously find a friend and go.

Some people aren’t very nice.

Like the man that congratulated me on my pregnancy. Or the coworker who said to me “Oh I never noticed you have a belly too!” But sometimes you just have to roll with it. And envision you looking really hot and them being jealous while you run on the treadmill.

Choose your inspiration.

Yes Sometimes I envision myself running off with Kenney Chesney because I’m just that good looking while I run. Other times I pretend that I’m out on the beach looking good in my swimsuit. It helps to keep your mind off of the actual running. Unless you’re a beast and love running.

Use the music.

I don’t think that I would be able to exercise without music. Research shows (don’t ask me where I read this, but I did!) that people who listen to music while they exercise put up with it longer. I’m going to be fit before we know it.

So all of that just to say, this is how I like to exercise. And I don’t have an excuse because I have a free company gym. And a free bus to get me there. And free exercise classes. And free friends (I don’t have to pay them!) to bug me about going. So before we know it, maybe people will be asking me how to be fit rather than when I’m due.

Is it too late to write about the new year? I’m going to say no. And if it is, oh well. I’m doing it anyways. This past year brought a lot of change in my life. Good change, bittersweet change. I know I haven’t written in a while. It amazes me that I haven’t written since May. Let me explain myself.

I moved. Yes this boomerang child moved out of her parents house and isn’t moving back. My parents are moving too. Thank God they were nice enough to leave a forwarding address.

I moved out of my parents house. Out of my home town. Out of my state. Out of the south. I’m living in the mountains of California. Yosemite National Park to be specific. I live in a cabin with a roommate in the middle of nowhere.

I moved on. I left a job I didn’t like and now work in a more relaxed atmosphere.

I climbed the social ladder. The great thing about living in a national park? There are a lot of people who live here who are like me. They’re twenty something, maybe even thirty something, and have no clue what they want to be when they grow up. They’re world travelers and educated for the most part. I enjoy their company.

I started taking anti-anxiety medicine. I’m no longer afraid to say this. (Get it? Get it? I’m so funny.) It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. I’m no longer afraid of doing things like moving to a state where I don’t know a single soul. I feel free.

I met so many of my goals last year. I’m extremely proud of myself. This year I’m making even more changes to my life. Some of them I’m not going to share until later but for now:

I’m going to travel more. I’m not sure how considering I don’t have the money right now, but I’m going to.

I’m going to read more. It’s a lot easier when you live somewhere without internet and without a television. I’ve already read a lot this winter.

I’m going to pay more attention to you dear reader. Yes, a goal is to write more frequently. Regardless of the fact that the only person who reads this blog is my mom.

I’m going to spend more time strengthening connections with old friends. Even if I strongly dislike talking on the phone.

So dear friends I hope to spend more time here. This blog helps my progress and live more. So I will be back soon. Definitely sooner than 7 months.

What are your goals for this year?